The Haruno Siblings
by Nerocchi
Summary: Join Kimimaro,Sasori, Hidan,Tayuya,Karin and Sakura as they move into Konoha, where they meet new friends, go to a new school and face sibling rivalries, ugly teachers, spelling tests, Tayuya's shoes and Karin the four-eyed freak.
1. Chapter 1

"Oi, Hidan! Get your shitty ass up and fix the fucking video cam!"

"Fix it with your fucking self, bitch!"

Then there was a scream of streaming profanities, then a girl's war cry, followed by a thump of something hitting someone and finally, Hidan's voice yelling, "SHIT!DAMN YOU, TAYUYA! THAT HURT!"

"Don't call me a bitch, you damn shithead!"Tayuya yelled.

"Ch. Whatever," Hidan muttered. (turns the video cam on)

Now we can see an angry girl (who looked like about 14 years old), with reddish –pink hair and chocolate brown eyes, wearing a black cap, a baggy black shirt and navy blue shorts. The girl was also missing a black sneaker. Beside her was a younger girl (about 12 years old), with pink hair and green eyes, wearing a baggy hot pink shirt, black shorts and pink converse. They were both sitting on a couch.

"Oi, Tayuya! The video cam's on!" Hidan's voice yelled.

The red-headed girl's expression turned into surprise.

"It fucking is?"

"Yeah," Hidan replied."Now get the fucking hell to start."

"Ch. Shut the freaking, fucking hell up."Tayuya sneered.

Tayuya adjusted her cap. Then she turned and faced at the video cam.

"Greetings, you fucking shitheads! This is Tayuya fucking speaking and for this fucking day, we're gonna talk about the freaking Haruno family!" She then gestured to the pink-haired girl beside her.

"Hell yeah! Now, let's start with the eldest sibling. First up, our dear big brother, Kimi-nii-san!!!" the pink-haired girl yelled. "By the way, the name's Sakura!"

"Ahem," Tayuya cleared her throat and bringing a worn out diary out of nowhere. Then she opened it. "This is the daily saga of my dear, bone-headed, boring aniki's life._ 'Dear Diary-"_

"Hey, Tayuya, I thought you were going to do an orientation of the Haruno family, not butting into other people's private lives?"The camera then focused to a silver-haired guy with eyes like Sakura's, leaning on the doorway with arms crossed and a bored expression on his face.

"Shut the fuck up, Kimimaro! Can't you see I'm doing a fucking orientation here?!" Tayuya yelled.

"You know Tayuya, people might not want to know about Kimimaro's boring life," a girl's voice said. The camera turned, this time to focus on a girl with red hair, red violet eyes and glasses, coming down the stairs.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S THE FOUR-EYED FREAK, KARIN!" Hidan yelled.

"Shut up, Hidan!"the girl called Karin yelled."_I AM NOT A FREAK!"_

"Um, you know, Karin, you are a freak," The camera focused on Sakura."One, half of your hair is long and straight and the other half is the opposite. Two, whoever heard of keeping my one of my best friends used , sweaty shirt and photo under her pillow?" Sakura questioned, one pink eyebrow raised.

"Yeah," Tayuya muttered." So anyway, Four-eyes (Karin), you might be right for once in your freaky, four-eyed life. People might not want to know about things like, bones, big words like, um, penultimate, some shit like that."

"Um, guys? Can we get on the show?" a random guy asked.

"Shut up, shithead!" Tayuya yelled." Ahem. So anyway, Kimimaro Haruno. A quiet guy, responsible and _protective_ brother."

"Not to mention a bone-obsessed guy. And he also likes Yuki" A new voice muttered. The camera turned (again) to reveal a guy with red hair and eating cookies. (Yep, you are soooo right. It's Gaara.)"What? I'm hungry!" he exclaimed defensively as five pairs of eyes look at him.

"Aha! So you are the culprit!" Sakura shrieked, pointing a finger at Gaara," Cookie- thief!"

"And I am not bone-obsessed and I do not like Yuki," Kimimaro lied.

"LIAR!!!!" a new voice (again) shouted. Every head swiveled towards the door, where a guy (also with red hair) was standing. (and pointing at Kimimaro)."If you don't like Yuki, then why does your diary say-"

"OK, SASORI! AND EVERYBODY GET IN THE LIVING ROOM THIS MINUTE AND INTRODUCE YOURSELVES!!!" the author yelled. (Kimimaro silently thanked the author for saving his secrets. Also, Tayuya and Karin were thinking that the contents of Kimimaro's diary were not boring at all and started to think of ways to get a hold on it)

"Hey!" Sasori whined, "I was supposed to 'introduce' Kimimaro-"

"I'm the author," the author glared, "I get to decide on what to happen to you guys-"

"Well, your stories are no fun!"Sasori pouted. (Oooh… the author is pissed…..)

Five minutes later….

Hidan was wearing a bikini, Sakura was kissing Rock Lee, Tayuya was watching her flute burn, Sasori was watching Deidara wreck his puppets, Gaara was watching Temari and Kankuro eating super delicious cookies, Kimimaro was watching bones break and Karin was watching her beloved Sasuke kissing Ino.

(Author starts singing "That's what you get" by Paramore and dancing around.)

Another random guy yells," GET ON WITH THE STORY, WOMAN!!!"

Author sighs, thinking, _He's destroying my singing and dancing career…._

Anyway….ON WITH THE STORY!

"OK, we're finished with Kimi-"

"I thought I told you to stop calling me _that_, Sakura…."Kimimaro sighed.

"Fine. Now, it's Saso-nii-san's turn!!!YAY!"Sakura yelled.

**SASORI'S FANGIRLS:** YAAAAY!!!!! Saso-kun!!!!

"Hey," Hidan frowned." How come _I _don't have fangirls?"

**SASORI'S FANGIRLS:** BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT HOT LIKE SASO-KUN!!!

The rest of the Haruno siblings started to ask their inner selves when did Sasori got hot.

"Ok, He is um, my crazy twin-"Tayuya began.

"Hey!" Sasori frowned. "I'm not crazy!"

"-though I hate it . He's an art addict and he loves to make puppets." Tayuya continued, as if she didn't hear Sasori. "His fucking best friend's name is Deidara and he and Hidan are part of the freaking 'Akatsuki'. He is 15 years old. Also, he, Hidan and Gaara used to fucking play their shitheaded 'game' in the damn backyard when we were fucking kids. He kinda looks like me,well duh, we're twins, though I fucking really hate to admit that, but then again I was fucking paid to tell the damn truth. We both have damn red hair and shitty brown eyes. Also, he's very fucking impatient and when he was a fucking kid, he and Hidan stunk at spelling."She concluded. "Um, wait….Hidan was fucking worse in spelling…."She frowned, trailing off in thought.

"At least, I'm not a fucking 'shorty bitch' like you," Sasori muttered.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY, SASORI?!" Tayuya yelled. She began to advance on Sasori, cracking her knuckles."YOU DID NOT JUST FUCKING SAID THAT SHIT!"She so totally hated it when people called her 'shorty'.

Sasori began to run for his freaking life, yelling, "RETREAT! RETREAT!"

"Well," Tayuya smirked, dusting her hands." That'll fucking take care of that shithead."She turned back to the camera."Well, I guess it's dumbassed Hidan"s turn." She yelled at the camera."Oi, Hidan, get your shitty ass over here!"

"Fine,"Hidan grumbled. "Ok guys, who'll man the motherfucking camera?" He looked around.

"I'll do it," Gaara volunteered.

"Ok!" a guy with silver hair and red violet eyes appears on the screen," Hello, my fucking amigos! My fucking name is Hidan-" when, suddenly a black sneaker hits him on the head.

"WTF?! Tayuya, that's the second time already!" Hidan grumbles while rubbing the back of his head.

"Well, fucking excuse me, Hidan, but I'm the one who's suppose to fucking fucking introduce you," Tayuya snarled."Anyway, Hidan is a crazy, foulmouthed-"

"Look who's fucking talking," Hidan mutters.

"- shithead, who's fucking hobbies are: talking about and worshipping the fucking Jashin and annoy the four-eyed freak and me. Also, he's 16." Tayuya continued, as if she didn't hear Hidan.

"Oh yeah, speaking of the four-eyed freak," Hidan began," Karin, you shouldn't be fucking here. Your freakiness, four-eyedness and ugliness might destroy the camera's screen." Hidan laughed.

Tayuya and Sakura joined in. Pretty soon, everyone (except Karin, even the author) were ROFL. Even Sasori, who had the guts to come back, even after Tayuya threaten him.

"WTF?! Damn you, Hidan!" Karin yelled.

"Anyway," Sakura began, wiping the tears out of her eyes, "Let's move on to Tayu-neechan!"

"Ahem, I will fucking start introducing her," Hidan said." Tayuya is also known as the 'sneaker-thrower'. She is also very fuckingly foulmouthed-"

"-And she's also a good flutist. And she's smart. She's also good in chess." Sakura smiled.

"Why thank you, Sakura," Tayuya smiled at her. Why Tayuya never cursed Sakura was a mystery.

"-And she's also a tomboy. Also, she is part of the Sound Four, which consists of her best friends. Tayuya is the only girl in Sound Four. Kin and Temari are her only best friends who are girls." Sasori finished."Hey, did you know Tayuya's embarrassing moment wa-"and he was suddenly interrupted by a pink converse (this time, Sakura lent Tayuya her shoe) hitting him on the head.

"Ow, Tayuya, that hurt." Sasori whined.

"Deal with it, shithead!" Tayuya yelled. "And don't go telling other fucking shitheads about my damn life!"

"Oi, Sasori," Gaara called, "It's my turn. Go man the camera."

"Ok guys, this is my twin Gaara," Sakura said. "We both have green eyes, though his are a paler green. Anyhow, Gaara loves, no is _addicted_ to cookies. And sand. And tanukis."

"-not to mention, Matsuri," Hidan slyly said, watching Gaara go red.

Sasori and Hidan started to run out of the living room chanting," GAARA AND MATSURI, SITTING ON THE TREE, F-U-C-K-I-N-G!!!"

"I'LL KILL YOU, MORONS," Gaara yelled. He ran after the crazy idiots.

"Hey, wait," Karin frowned." You didn't introduce me."

Tayuya and Sakura looked at each other. Then they nodded to each they shouted,

"KARIN IS A SLUTTY BITCH! SHE IS A FREAK BECAUSE OF THE 'HAIR INCIDENT' AND SHE IS OBSESSED OVER SASUKE. SHE IS ONE OF THE 3 BIT- WE MEAN, WITCHES OF THE SCHOOL. AND SHE HATES US. ALSO, SHE IS STUPID. SHE LOVES NAIL POLISH."(**GO, KARIN-HATERS!!!!**)

"I hate you guys!" Karin grumbled.

"See? She fucking hates us." Tayuya shrugged."Anyway, Karin, we do love you. But deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep,…………………….down. So, it's Sakura's turn."

"Thanks, nee-chan." Sakura smiled at her. Oh, and by the way, everyone else except Tayuya and Sakura were not in the living room, when, Inner Sakura appeared.

Inner Sakura: **ALL OF YOU FUCKING MORONS GET THE HELL BACK HERE AND INTRODUCE ME!!!! SHANNARO!!!!"**

Everybody went back at once cause, Sakura was the strongest girl in school and if it was Inner Sakura, her strength is 100 times worse.

"Sakura-chan here is intelligent, a bit of a tomboy like Tayuya, although Sakura is not foulmouthed. She's best friends with Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki. And the popular girls in her grade."Hidan said, while patting Sakura's head.

"Thank you, niisan." Sakura smiled. ( By the way, Inner had already disappeared.)"Now, we're gonna discuss about our cousins, Temari-neechan and Kankuro-niisan!!" She showed a picture of a girl with sandy blonde hair tied into four ponytails, sticking her tounge out at the camera and a boy with bushy brown hair glaring at the camera.

"Temari and Tayuya usually are the ones together when she and Kankuro visit us. Temari is one year older than Sakura, but she is placed on the same grade. She hates dolls and Karin." Kimimaro stated boredly.

"Meanwhile, Kankuro and Sasori are the ones who get along, since they both love puppets."Karin said. "Also, Kankuro hates kids and is addicted to video games."

"And this concludes the Haruno family introduction,"Sasori said. Just then, Hidan appeared gleefully.

"Oh yeah!" Hidan yelled, " Blackmailing time!!!! Did you know, Tayuya once-"

"SHUT UP, HIDAN!!!" Tayuya yelled. She threw her shoe, missing the target and hit the tripod. The camera's screen focused under the couch, where there is an entire army of dust bunnies. Then came sounds of Hidan yelping and cursing and Tayuya letting out a stream- no a_ river_ of profanities. Kimimaro sighed, Sakura laughed, then Karin adjusted the camera. It revealed the scene of Tayuya hitting Hidan repeatedly on the head with her shoe.

"DOGPILE!!" Sakura yelled joining the fight. She also threw her shoe at Hidan.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to join," Sasori grinned. He also joined and started to tickle Sakura.

Gaara threw pillows at Karin. Pretty soon, She and Gaara were engaged in a pillow fight.

_Am I the only one who is sane here?_ Kimimaro thought exasperatedly. He turned to the camera. "This fanfic is about our childhood and our first year in Konoha. Enjoy." He stated flatly.

A pillow hit the video cam, making static appear on the screen.

Ah. The joys of a big, happy family

WeLL???

wHatChA tHiNk?

oH yeAh:

**Kimimaro:** 16

**Hidan**: 19

**Sasori and Tayuya**: 18

**Karin**: 17

**Gaara and Sakura**: 16

What_ is_ Tayuya's embarrasing moment? What will happen the next chapter? Who is Yuki? Will the camera ever be fixed? Who paid Tayuya? Why am I asking you all this?Well...... you'd better stick around and find out! (and also review!)

tHis iS mY **first fAnfIc……**

sO pLeaSe rEviEw…….

aLsO.... yOu cAn aSk mE qUeStIonS....

jA nE!!

nika


	2. Chapter 2

I am so SORRY guys!!! This story is on hiatus coz my computer is blocked of . GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN!!! So sorry if u favorited this…..and also, please review or send me a message if u story alert this or put it in your favorites….

PS I am using my kind cousin's computer….

Nika


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